Myself

Myself

Is this allowed?

Did I somehow give permission?

Was I seeking for you to change me?

Yet, I must find a way to stay true to who I am--who I'm meant to be.

Am I faulty or broken?

Are there pieces and shards round about?

Do I need some kind of rebuilding, repurposing?

I suppose, no one is perfect--everyone's a work in progress.

Do I have the strength to face this?

Can I stay true to myself and change?

Is it painful to go forward, knowing what I know?

Facing this seems the only solution--to press onward and grow.

Devastated

   

     Aware

          Pained

               Quiet

                    Hopeful

                         Enlightened

                              Energized

                                   Fulfilled

                                        So many questions on this journey of becoming.

                                        So many steps on this pathway of understanding.

                                        Just trying to find and be...

                                                                                        Myself.

                                                                                                                       4-30-17

(Just found this one on a computer I don't use often.  I wrote it a long time ago and feel that it really represents some new challenges I have right now as I have changed the trajectory of my career and I am really trying to find myself right now.)

Questions and Answers

Questions--

vital
unsettling
probing
clarifying
validating
curious
contemplative
desiring
perplexing

heaven-bound.

Answers--

consoling
uplifting
edifying
unifying
calming
testifying
foundational
truthful
confirming

heaven-sent.

9-17-17

(Pondering on how important it is to ask questions in our quest for spiritual growth and what those answers mean.)

He Finds Me

Lost little lamb that I am
          --He finds me.

In rocky crag
or storm-tossed sea
In mourning
or in pain
In solace
or lonely in a crowd
In unknown paths
or well-worn ways
In fearful anxiety
or pensive calm.

No matter where
                 or how
                     or why...

When I call...
                 or humbly ask...
                     or earnestly seek...

He finds me and carries me home.

9-17-17

(Sunday afternoon waiting for the general session of stake conference to begin.  Remembering Bishop Waddel's remarks [from the presiding bishopric] on Christ's ministry to each and every one of us from the Saturday night session.)

Real Strength

Power lifting?
     No, humble kneeling
     Gives me the strength to go on.

Gym time on machines?
     No, scripture time
     with spiritual "dews" descending.

The world craves a chiseled body with a showy physique.

My spirit craves Heavenly help with power endowed from on high.

                                                         --Real Strength!

(I have been struggling physically and it makes it difficult to manage each day.  I find my greatest strength is found in my relationship with Heavenly Father and in the scriptures.  Somehow, it helps me manage the physical demands of each day.)

9-18-17

View from My Window

Majestic
Sun-lit
Towering
Protective

Glorious
Reaching
Harbinger
Powerful

Picturesque
Storied
Legendary
Uplifting

Changing
Inspiring
Surprising
Constant

I love the view from my window!

(Written as I was sitting at my desk in my new classroom and enjoying the view of Mount Timpanogos.)

Down in the Mouth

Numbing
     Swelling

Whirring
     Smelling

Slurping
     Tasting

Poking
     Waiting

Stretching
     Swallowing

Filling
     Polishing

Testing
     Resting

----Fixing those cavities!

8-7-17  (I wrote this poem and a start to a picture book while watching Jen get her cavities filled--8 in one day.  They were the aftermath of her braces.)

Dad's 80th Birthday--An Alphabetic Adventure

Dad
80 years!

80 years that include:

A--Ability to turn almost anything into a hat or headpiece
B--Body surfing and even breaking a rib in the process
C--Catching a jellyfish with his bare hands
D--Dancing to Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass with pretend maracas
E--Eating sweets when he really should behave with his diabetes
F--Fijian missionary and humanitarian provider--being loved by so many in the islands
G--Gardening in an old straw hat and sharing freshly picked kohlrabi in the process
H--Hiking with the kids on numerous excursions--even to the ranger station at Devil's Head
I--Isle de Pasqua--walking across volcanoes, climbing on statues and baptizing someone in the ocean
J--Jumping off a woodpile with a dishtowel cape trying out your superpowers
K--Keeping in touch using Ham Radio Operators to make regular Sunday calls from Easter Island
L--Leadership in a humble way--elevating others and empowering them
M--Marrying the most amazing companion for you--Mom
N--Never giving up on your family even when they have not always made great choices
O--Obediently living the gospel of Jesus Christ
P--Pizza making as a family tradition "Shakey's Pizza Parlour" style
Q--Quorum of the Seventy member (before it was changed to what it is today)
R--Revelation--worthily sharing priesthood blessings and changing lives
S--Switching the sun on and off for your kids while traveling in the car
T--Twinkling, mischievous eyes when playing the latest trick on someone
U--Understanding when your daughter hit two cars in one night
V--Valiant in his testimony and defender of truth and righteousness
W--Working amazingly hard to provide for a wife and 10 children
X--"x-tremely" talented conversing and sharing with others--making them feel loved and respected
Y--Young at heart--even at 80!
Z--Zoning in his recliner chair or enjoying a good football game there too

80 years of being loved and cherished!

8-7-17  Written in celebration of my wonderful Dad.